Added: Prashant Harney - Date: 27.08.2021 06:43 - Views: 14883 - Clicks: 3622
Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. Just be careful with who you decide to approach at parties. Can you do telekinesis?
One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention. Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore — my face should be among them. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor. And the ones on your face. Have you seen one? Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of semen waiting for you. Are you a shark? Are you a doctor? Because you just cured my erectile dysfunction. Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good karma-sutra positions. When I saw you, I lost my tongue. Can I put yours in my mouth? Are you an archaeologist?
You are so selfish. Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity. Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet. My bed. Want to fix that? Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie. I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle. Are you the lottery lady on TV? Are you a farmer? Do you need a stud in your life? Are you a racehorse? Did you grow up on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock. Roses or daises? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. I just popped a Viagra. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under. Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you. Why pay for a bra when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free? You should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand.
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor. Your place or mine? Tell you what? Head at my place, tail at yours. If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole? You must be Medusa because you make me rock hard. Do you go to church often? Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth? Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight.
I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What do you say we go upstairs and work out a remedy? I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in.
How long has it been since your last checkup? Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face. Let me guess your favorite position: anything that involves my balls bouncing against your ass. If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down? Oh you are? Darn, it must be an hour fast.
Are you related to Dracula? Because you looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me. I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in? Am I on an episode of Fixer Upper? My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. Wanna go back to my place and save me? Are you a supermarket sample? Because I wanna taste you again and again without any sense of shame. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?
Hard to get off, but extremely satisfied once you do. They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing. I think my allergies are acting up.
Because every time your around my dick swells up. Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing?
Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. Do you know why they call me the cat whisperer? Because I know exactly what your pussy needs. Are you a sprinkler? You may unsubscribe at any time. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about. By January Nelson Updated October 9, Whether the other person laughs aloud or rolls their eyes, you are guaranteed to get a strong reaction from them. Get the best of Thought Catalog in your inbox. About the author January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment.You up for some drinks and fuck me daddy flirting?
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